In your eyes, I found myself more than just a brokenhearted girl. More than just an idiot. More than a mess, a chaos I felt accepted. Even when I knew I don't need your policies for being.

 

“Semoga, suatu ketika, aku bisa membawamu ke tempat penuh buku buku, di perpustakaan paling   baik didunia. Amiin..”

“Yang aku pernah tag kamu itu yaa.. Atau Bibliotheca Alexandria”

“Iya. Aku lebih suka disitu.  Sedih ya  ? “

 

He made that wish in less than forty days away from his wedding day. While she realised not to wish to be nor do anything with him ever again. Because, Wish is bigger than hope, while to hope is already hurts her, Throw her into an emptiness. She's like an empty  haunted house. A broken down house with the ceilings hanging out, the chipped paint on the walls and the broken doors that making a creaking sounds.

And you.. You're just like a refugee people who seek for shelter.  You embrace that broken down house. You stay. You mend the broken ceilings. You paint the fading walls. You plants the orchids. You give back the warmth of that house. You give hope.

You make it home again. She is your home. You're her home, But you both were not meant for each other. You were forced to get out of that home. Somebody is giving you a way better home. We will never grow old together.

I know, You're the one who will mourn. Me on silent, The way I grieve you in poems or maybe we will long for each other in our prayers.

 

                “ Apa yang sedang kita lakukan ?, Beri tahu aku jika kamu sudah menemukan jawabannya.. Sepertinya, Kita memang sedang saling menyembuhkan, juga mempersiapkan diri untuk kesakitan kesakitan berikutnya. Tidakkah kita menemukan  kepingan -kepingan hati kita sebagai potongan-potongan puzzle yang begitu sempurna menjadi sebentuk hati yang utuh ketika kita rekatkan bersama ?

 

Lalu kita harus membaginya berdua tanpa harus merusak bentuk yang telah utuh.

Kita, harus belajar lagi untuk hidup bersama.

Aku tanpamu. Dan kamu, tanpaku. “

 

( Diah Ariati )